42 yo and lost both my mother and father in a car crash 4 years ago still haven't recovered. Had checked myself into a mental clinic for suicidal thoughts in the first year. I've always been a shy odd person that struggles with panic attacks and social anxiety so I have no friends to lean on or support me. I just wish I had a friend or two to get out if the house with to go hiking, camping, 4x4, etc with. Drag me out of this house that has now become my prison! Life seems meanless. I eat,sleep,work, watch TV, and repeat. This life is boring, mundane, meanless, and lonely!